We had a question in our viber group on effective communication at home. First off we need to acknowledge that we all are blessed with unique nature and style of communication and so are our spouses and children. So there is no silver bullet that would work for us all. That said, there are few things to consider, which may be helpful .
1. Kindness- kindness to our own self and the person we communicate with. Choice of words, tones, etc should be filled with kindness.
2. Pick right time for conversation. Avoid it when they are tired or come home after a fight at work or school . home is where we recharge and we don't want to make them feel otherwise. Sometime it takes time. When they are all relaxed and receptive, the conversation becomes effective.
3. Be 'To the point'- go straightforward to the problem. no context, no background. start with "this is not working for you or for me or our family, whatever it is. Never ever bring the history- jindagibhar timile esto gareko or kahile kehi gardainau etc.. that kills everything. they become defensive
4. Ask question - let them own the solution they propose.
5. Make action plan and leave the place. do not linger around.
6. Follow up next weekend. are you happy with how we did this week with the new plan?
7. Intention should be to solve the problem and not at all to blame or fault finding. Stop/leave room as soon as blame game start.
8. Being respectful all the time is important. a hint of disrespect can ruin everything. Kids or spouse, ensure that you acknowledge their individuality and respect them. Use respectful words.
After all, all we have is each other day in and day out. And the reason for conversation is for the growth and happiness of each other and family. This should be clear for both the parties . Hope this is helpful. Best Regards, Shruti Khadka Mishra